I'm due to graduate with my master's degree in a number of months (provided, of course, that I finish my thesis). Thoughts on what I will actually DO with my life once I've graduated have been ever-present, and I keep wondering what will happen. Will I get a job? Will I meet someone and get married? Will I go back home or move away? And most of all, will I be able to make it on my own?
It seems as if I've been in school so long now that I only know how to operate within the unique rhythm of academia. The rush to get things prepared for the beginning of the semester, the endless deadlines, the sweet relief once a semester has ended, and the insane drive toward self-torture that makes you want to start it all over again. I keep wondering about what will happen if I can't find a job teaching. Will I be happy outside of school? Will I be challenged?
I know that, as a Christian, I'm told that I shouldn't "worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." However, as Paul once said, "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." I find myself constantly daydreaming/worrying about what will happen once I leave this chapter of my life. Looking back, it's been a time filled with so much growth, happiness and pain, so much richness that I become absolutely terrified that nothing will ever compare to these times.
But perhaps therein lies the answer. Perhaps the point is to enjoy each moment, savor it and feel it to the fullest extent, so that when that inevitable time comes when I find myself in a new chapter, I won't have to wonder what would have happened had I really, truly lived.
Perhaps the future will hold even more amazing things, like another European excursion!
1 comment:
No matter what occupies our energies at the present time, we ALL worry about what the future holds, I assure you. I think you answered your own question though. Keep living life, and it takes care of itself. I don't think you'll have any problem except trying to decide between the myriad of options that will come your way! Keep up the good work!
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