Certainly, I went through a lot of phases where I trusted God and allowed him control of my life, but it only went so far. It's like I've been on a roller coaster of trust, where I would allow God to be God in my life for about three minutes, but after it was done, I wanted to get back to waiting in line for the roller coaster, because being in line was easier, safer. It didn't require energy, it just required that I stand around, waiting. I got really used to waiting.
But here's the crazy thing: when I was on the roller coaster, I LOVED it! I was excited about Jesus, about figuring out His will for my life, about fulfilling my purpose and worshiping God with my life. Somehow, though, I would begin to feel like my three minutes were up. I would get back in line. I would stop LIVING and start waiting.
Then I did something totally out of character. I moved to Mississippi to help start a church, trusting that God would see me through. Prior to making this decision, I went through a season of jumping on the roller coaster every chance I had. Certainly, there were times where I could feel myself getting off, but I didn't allow myself to get back in line. I jumped back on, into the Word and into the adventure that is the roller coaster.
What I didn't realize is that by making this move, choosing to trust God through this, I was deciding that I would LIVE on the roller coaster. No lines. No waiting. Just all the time, 100% roller coaster. Being on a roller coaster can be fun, but being on it all the time is tough. I have to admit that there has been a recent season where I've stepped off. I've relegated myself to waiting when I KNOW that God wants me on the ride.
I don't have great reasons for this. Insecurity is one, the fear of failure, the ease of wallowing in loneliness and homesickness. But I'm DONE! I'm sick and tired of living in line! Roller coasters may not be easy. You may get a little whiplash, you may feel a little dizzy or shaken up, but more than that, they are EXHILARATING. The God of the universe is exhilarating, awesome, amazing, and beyond compare. I want to live in the stream of his awesomeness. I want to become more like him. I want to engage in an experiment in becoming more awesome (note: awesome here just means super cool, not in any way deserving of awe or praise that belongs only to God).
This experiment has humble beginnings, because it starts in me. But God tells us that all things are possible through him, that he is sufficient to meet our every need. So I am beginning this experiment, believing that He will supply everything I need to complete it. The only thing is, it will be a very, very long experiment.
Even so, I am looking for people who want to join me, who will partner with me, be accountable with me to become more awesome for God. To live out the roller coaster ride that a relationship with God brings. Do you want a roller coaster? Are you sick of living easy in the line? Because the line can be awfully boring and frustrating.
If you'd like to start the experiment with me, here's what you can do:
1. Pray. However you want. I started by confessing to God that I've chosen to live outside of what He's wanted for me. Yes, I felt lame at the beginning. That happens when you've spent time in line. You forget what it's like, putting your hands up in the air and feel kind of dumb to begin with. I promise, it will pass.
2. Read. No, not a magazine. Not Twilight. The BIBLE! This can also help out with the praying. You might want to start somewhere like Luke 8, where it talks about the parable of the sower. We need our spiritual soil to be good so that God's word will take root and flourish. If you've never read the Bible before, start at John 1:1. If you don't have a Bible, you can go to this website and read online. I suggest either the NIV or NLT translations.
3. Share. Post a comment or share with a friend. I would love to be an encouragement to you as you begin this roller coaster ride. I will continue to post, sharing what I'm going through, so you will certainly have an empathic ear! Either way, don't go it alone! It's easy to become frustrated or quit when you feel like you're alone, so get a buddy and help them along as they help you. Like I said, I would love to be your buddy :)
4. Resource. It really helps to spur on your prayer and study time if you have some kind of framework. I know that I get way deeper if I have a guide of sometime to help you along. I have just started going through "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore. She is seriously legit. There are lots of other good books you can use, though, like "The Purpose-Driven Life." For a better list, click here.
Are you ready? Let's get through waiting, and start the ride!
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