Aftermath

There are some things in life that I will never understand. Coffee, for example. I hated it so much when I was young, but now I can't get enough of it! It's my stimulant of choice, both because of its tantalizing aroma and the way it makes the world a happier place for about two hours. I tend to think that coffee is one of God's better ideas, right up there with scenic views and sunsets. But I digress. The thing I've been thinking of that I really don't understand is the nature of trials, and more specifically, how one rough patch seems to serve as a warning that there are more difficult things looming ahead.

These last few weeks have been rough for me. First, there was the slander issue I dealt with. That rocked me to my core. I have never had my character so brutally bashed, and seemingly for no reason at all. I felt as though I dealt with that situation well, only to discover that it was more complicated than I had thought. And following closely on the heels of this trial were more frustrations!

If you have spent time with me at all, you know that my nose drives me completely bonkers. Not because of the way it looks, but because I have a condition that causes persistent blockages in my sinuses. The condition can be corrected through surgery, but it's quite expensive and requires that I stay on bed rest for a week following the procedure.

I had paid for health insurance so that I could get surgery on my sinuses, but when my doctor tried to schedule the surgery, my insurance told him that I had NO surgical benefits. I was crushed, especially since the customer service agent had told me specifically that I would have surgical, hospital, and medical benefits when I signed up for the plan. And since it's springtime, my allergies have been particularly difficult. This makes it hard for me to breathe, hard for me to sleep, and hard for me to function in general.

As if this weren't enough, I began to feel like I was being attacked...like people were talking about me, like the things I'm doing for the church aren't effective or useful, like no one really cares. In short, the physical things that had happened were threatening my perception of my spiritual identity. A recipe for disaster for sure.

At this juncture, it becomes useful to see what God's word has to say about the my situation(s). Stupid stuff is happening. It's rough, and it stinks. Matthew 5:45 says that the rain falls on the righteous and unrighteous alike. Ok, so life happens. There's not much I can change about that. But I can change something, right? Maybe I should start with my perception of the situation. I can speak out who I am and who I serve in the midst of the trials that I face. Here are a few truths concerning who I am and what I am capable of (and you, too!):

1. I am a conqueror (Romans 8:35)
2. I am a child of God (Hebrews 12:11)
3. I am God's beloved (1 Peter 4:12)
4. I am one of Christ's saints (2 Corinthians 1:3)
5. I am capable of accomplishing great things because of who I serve (John 14:12)
6. Ain't no devil gonna get me down (John 10:10)

This last verse is where I'm camping out right now. In John 10:10, it says that the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. His goal is to steal my joy, kill my dreams, and utterly destroy my faith by placing seeds of doubt in my mind when life gets difficult. But I know that Jesus came so that I could have life, and have it in full. It is my choice to press in, to decide to "consider it pure joy...when you face trials of many kinds," because I know that the testing of my faith "develops perseverance." I also know that "perseverance must finish its work" so that I "may be complete, and lacking nothing" (James 1:2-3).

So here I am: in the midst of a several trials. My character has been attacked, but I'm still here. My nose is driving me crazy, but I'm still here. I may have felt futile, but I'm still here. I'm choosing to persevere, choosing to be joyful in all circumstances, trusting that somewhere along the line, I'll become more mature, more capable, more faithful, and more full of faith. Now if I could only get my nose to cooperate...