Overwhelmed

I'm sitting here at my computer and it's nearly midnight. I'm thinking of all the things I still need to do, like write a midterm, complete a presentation, finish some readings, write my thesis pre-proposal, get my oil changed, make a deposit, put away my clean clothes, etc, etc, etc.
I keep wondering when life is going slow down. Like Green Acres. Right now I'm so ready to pack in the city and transplant myself to a world where all I really have to worry about is whether or not my home-grown zucchinis will win first prize at the county fair. Yes, I know, it probably sounds terribly dull, but right now I am LOVING the idea of a domestic life.

Perhaps I'm romanticizing life as a homemaker. I know that there's always tons to do: clean the house, shuttle the kids to wherever they have to go, make sure those little minds are getting filled with good things, keep track of the family finances, do about 100 loads of laundry, etc, etc, etc. Maybe one of the reasons I think so often about being domestic and having a husband and kids is because I'm afraid not so deep down inside that I'll never get to have that kind of life. I know that I'm really good at the school thing, and I could see myself being a career teacher. But there is something that sounds so wonderful about nurturing a family, knowing all its little quirks, and helping little minds grow up into wonderful people.

Or it could be that the family life is so the opposite of how my life is right now that it's a wonderful mental escape. No papers to write, no students to be frustrated with, no putting up with crazy faculty members who can't decide if they should be your mentor or your friend. Yep, being a wife and mom is sounding pretty darned good right now. But I know that in the end I'll wind up dissatisfied all over again. And I know that this dissatisfaction is because I'm not meant for the world. What's that thing Paul says? That we're to be IN the world and not OF it. So I guess it's o.k. that I feel overwhelmed and out of place right now. After all, this oddness and discomfort is only a temporary symptom of belonging to something and someone much greater than myself.

Deep breath. Exhale. Moving on.....

I'm approved!

Oh joy and happiness! My final plan of study has been approved! I'm not sure exactly what that means except that I won't have any academic holds on my registration and I think that now I can move toward creating my thesis prospectus :)

ONE step closer toward GRADUATION and becoming a true MASTER!!!!

Now if only I can get through the rest of the semester....